Mommas Like Me: memories

Little did I know that this morning when the volume on the T.V. wouldn't work and Carter was ticked and whiny because he couldn't hear his cartoons while eating breakfast before school, that this would all actually become a blessing in disguise.

You see, normally when we get home from school, the T.V. goes on, Carter plays while stopping occasionally to watch, and I am usually busy with numerous household chores and such. But because of this mornings fiasco, things went quite differently after school today...wonderfully different.

Today instead of spending the afternoon watching the boob tube and doing endless chores...

We sat.
We cuddled.
We talked.
We read stories.
We laughed.

It was precious. It was sweet. It was relaxing. It was just what we've both been needing.

Sometimes I get so busy with this, that, and the other thing that I forget just how important these times are. How much I need these simple yet unforgettable moments...how much he needs them.

All to often I let the T.V. act as a babysitter while I strive to get just a "few" more things done, when really I ought to be striving to spend more days like this one, cherishing these fleeting moments when my little "underwear only" boy sits snuggly in my lap, cuddled under a blanket, "reading" to his momma. These moments are too far and in-between and that needs to change...NOW. Someday this will all be gone. Over. And all I'll have left are the memories.

Do I want to look back and remember all the chores I was able to accomplish in a day? Or how soft his skin feels when I rub his belly?
Will I look back and be proud of how sparkling clean all the toilets were? Or will I be proud that I helped teach my son to read?
Do I want to look back and regret how much time I spent on the computer? Or remember all the silly conversations we had about superheros and "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes?
Do I want to look back and remember what it feels like to have my arms filled with laundry? Or do I want to remember the feeling of him in my arms?

I need to remember to be present. In the moment. Soaking in every precious second that I have with my little man...while he's still little.

I need to stop being so wrapped up in every day tasks that I forget about what's truly important. I need to be more thankful that I have the opportunity to be a SAHM and that I don't have to miss out on moments like these. I need to remember to create these special moments. To turn off the T.V., put down the phone, step away from the computer and leave unnecessary things for another day.

Today was wonderful, simple, beautiful and perfect. There needs to be more days like this. There WILL be more days like this. I promise.

I love you Carter. Spending time with you is the most important thing to me. But sometimes busy mommas need to be reminded to slow down too. Thank you for being patient with me while I learn this whole motherhood thing. And thank you for showering me with hugs, kisses and "I love you's." I'll keep each one safely tucked away in my heart...forever.

Linking Up Here

xoxo,
Lacee

Yesterday on my way outta town to pick up my nephew, I drove thru the part of town that I grew up in. As I was driving, I passed by several places I remembered going when I was younger.

Memories began to flood my mind.

There was the Baskin Robbins where we'd always go for ice cream, the grocery store where one of the bagger boys had a crush on me, and the Burger King where I went thru my first drive through when I got my drivers license.

Then I passed by a place that really took me back.

Really tugged at my heart strings.

Made me remember someone so very special to me...my Dad.

The place that evoked all this emotion was none other than a car wash. Sounds strange, but sometimes when you lose someone it's the weirdest little things that make you think of them.

I lost my dad 5 years ago this past February. He passed away from heart failure in his work truck on the morning of my baby shower.

He was 57 years old, I was 23 and 8 months pregnant.

I hate how I can always remember how long he's been gone by remembering how old my son is. And it absolutely kills me inside that he didn't get a chance to meet his grandson. They would have been the best of friends.

I'll never forget the last conversation I had with him 2 days before he passed. It was a Thursday night. The night of our favorite show Survivor. We always called each other after the show to talk about who got voted off. I remember he asked how I was feeling, if Carter had been moving around in my belly a lot that day, and he said that he still couldn't believe that his baby was having a baby and how excited he was to meet his grandson. We both ended the conversation with "I Love You" and little did I know that that would be that last time I would ever hear his voice and those reassuring words again.

I was definitely a daddy's girl. My dad and I were always close, but our bond got even stronger after my mom passed away from ovarian cancer in 1999 {you can read about my momma here}.

I had always known my dad was an amazing husband {the kind I wanted to marry when I grew up...and did :)} but seeing him take care of my momma when she was sick made me see love in a whole new light. He took care of her emotionally by always being there for her, comforting her, supporting her and being her strength when she was at her weakest. When she was physically unable to do things, he once again stepped up to the plate, feeding her, bathing her and yes, even changing her diapers. He made good on his promise

"for better or worse."

A few months after my mom passed away I can remember coming home from dance and finding a huge...and we're talking Costco sized HUGE box of tampons on my bed. My dad had bought them for me.

I. WAS. MORTIFIED.

My dad bought me tampons?!? Really? O.M.G.!

He walked into my room shortly after my discovery and very proudly said,

"I bought those for you. That should last you awhile right? Hope they're your size!"

I wanted to DIE...of embarrassment that is.

But long after that...long, long after that...I began to realize just how sweet that gesture really was.

You see, my dad was the most generous person I have ever known. Not only that but he was also a true gentleman. He always treated the women in his life with love and respect. Whenever he was invited to someones home for dinner, he'd always bring the hostess a box of See's candy. It was his "thing." He was beyond thoughtful. He'd literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. And there is nothing, NOTHING he wouldn't do for his daughters.

His kindness and generosity extended well beyond his family and friends and this is where the aforementioned car wash comes in. He always took his car to this particular car wash by our house. At this car wash there were a group of young guys who would dry off your car when it came out all squeaky clean. Every week when my dad would take his car there, he would bring these hard working guys treats, for no reason other than that he appreciated the good job that they did. He would bring them cans of ice cold sodas or even donuts and pastries. Needless to say, they absolutely LOVED when they saw my dad exit the car wash. He always put a huge smile on there faces.

That's the kinda guy my dad was. Generous, kind, thoughtful and loving.

The kinda guy that every girl wants to marry.

The kinda dad that every girl wants to have.

The kinda grandparent that every grandchild loves.

The kinda friend that everyone needs.

I miss him so much.

I miss how he would always bring me rainbow sherbet ice cream when I was sick.

How he'd wake me up in the morning with a good back scratching.

How he always had a new joke that he couldn't wait to tell you.

I miss tinkering around in the garage with him.

I miss our belly laughs around the kitchen table.

But most of all I miss the way he made me feel.

Safe and protected when he hugged me with his big strong arms.

Supported when even at 23 years old I could still crawl up on his lap and tell him all my worries.

Important because no matter how busy he was he always made time for me.

Happy when even at our worst moments he could always find a way to make me smile.

Loved because no matter what, I was sure he would always be there for me.

My dad wasn't perfect. He made mistakes like every other parent out there. But his mistakes are not what I remember about him. It's all these little things that I mentioned, like the car wash, that make me miss him the most and help me to remember what a wonderful husband, father and friend he was. And if there is one thing that I hope all you mommas {and dads} take away from this post it's this:

Our kids are not going to remember us for every little thing that we did wrong but for the way we made them feel.

I miss you Daddy,

And love you more than you could ever know.